This morning I came across old notes I'd taken regarding boundaries. "A boundary is a place where my responsibility ends and another persons begins". My boundaries are often slack in both directions. I would like to learn to automatically:
Me: Hey God.
Me: I'm falling apart. Can you put me back together?
God: I would rather not.
God: Because you aren't a puzzle.
Me: What about all of the pieces of my life that are falling down onto the ground?
God: Let them stay there for a while. They fell off for a reason. Take some time and decide if you need any of those pieces back.
Me: You don't understand! I'm breaking down!
God: No - you don't understand. You are breaking through. What you are feeling are just growing pains. You are shedding the things and the people in your life that are holding you back. You aren't falling apart. You are falling into place. Relax. Take some deep breaths and allow those things you don't need anymore to fall off of you. Quit holding onto the pieces that don't fit you anymore. Let them fall off. Let them go.
Me: Once I start doing that, what will be left of me?
God: Only the very best pieces of you.
Me: I'm scared of changing.
God: I keep telling you - YOU AREN'T CHANGING!! YOU ARE BECOMING!
Me: Becoming who?
God: Becoming who I created you to be! A person of light and love and charity and hope and courage and joy and mercy and grace and compassion. I made you for more than the shallow pieces you have decided to adorn yourself with that you cling to with such greed and fear. Let those things fall off of you. I love you! Don't change! ... Become! Become! Become who I made you to be. I'm going to keep telling you this until you remember it.
Me: There goes another piece.
God: Yep. Let it be.
Me: So ... I'm not broken?
God: Of course not! - but you are breaking like the dawn. It's a new day.
Author: John Roedel
Wouldn't it be great if they taught the color wheel in school: inner ring in kinder-garden, middle ring in middle school and outer ring in high school. If we could all name our feelings, it would be so much easier to understand our emotions and respond rather than react - feel rather than suppress.
Click to see the video of a baby fawn we rescued!. She stayed overnight with us and we took her to a sanctuary in the morning!
I want to remind myself often that I am human, that I make mistakes - and that's okay. This list will continue to grow as I add things I want to keep handy for review.
It's important to be vulnerable
to live in my truth
to show up as I am
and own my story.
When hurt, its easy to use the vulnerability of people I love against them.
If I behave out of line, admit it quickly and emphatically.
To experience joy I need to practice:
tolerance and more
Remember to ask only for what I need and offer what I can.
Is my stuff a scab or a scar? If it's a scab - I need to work on it to allow it to heal. Don't let the scabs pile up.
Self Care involves
doing a joyful thing just for the hell of it!
Have I been taking time daily for self care?
Mindfulness is active attention to the present,
observing thoughts and feelings without judgement. Am I living in the moment?
When someone triggers me emotionally, ride the wave!
What am I feeling? Come back to the present!
What's the story I'm telling yourself?